Less of Me

To date - last night's booze-up notwithstanding - I have lost 45.6lbs since the end of August.  Pretty freaking fantastic, if I do say so myself.  The changes are so dramatic in so many ways.  It is fair to say: less of me means more of all the good stuff (except cake, of course).  I am happier, fitter, calmer; more rested, more thoughtful, more content; have more energy, have more patience, and have more enthusiasm.  I am certain that by being smaller, I am a bigger person.  I love the thread here...

I do not want to attribute my new found happiness to looks or vanity because that has only started to enter into it for me in the past few weeks, it is such a deeper contentment.  

Now, all this is meaningless hogwash when sitting at the other side of the adventure.  Before I set off on this journey-to-the-new-me I had spent years resenting my weight and weight-gain and choosing to be 'fine' with it so that I didn't have to be upset about it.  So Fat-Me, if she were to meet current Mini-Me (okay, alost-mini) face to face, would be rather uppity and probably tell me to go stuff my optimistic bs.... and rightfully so, no one likes to hear a bunch of positivity when stuck in the doldrums.

BUT, as it is Mini-Me talking to Fat-Me, I think the point needs to be that I am now the proof of what's possible and what we can have if we want it.

And frankly, it was not as hard as I always expected it to be (thus never really trying).  Somehow all the right things really have conspired to make me successful on this journey - thank you Fate - and I hope I can use this blog as a mode of reflection to identify the necessary components to my success to help me maintain or return when needed.

Three rounds of IVF, two kids, and 36.7 pounds later....

My husband and I spent six years trying to get pregnant before taking the IVF journey that blessed us with our two sweet wonderful rascals. We never got a fix on what the problem was, kind of a mix apparently: a bit of this, not enough of that. Regardless, babies were not coming on their own.


I wonder now, though, how much of the problem may have been too much me. Now that I've dropped a rather significant amount off of me, I suddenly have a cycle much more as one would expect. While during all the years of charting, plotting, prodding, and, frankly, sobbing I was "regular but long" with a 35-day cycle. Now, three months on plan, my cycle has progressively shortened to a perfect 28.


Huh.


Our family is exactly as its meant to be but I do wonder how much my weight affected our fertility. I'm sure it was a complex combination of factors but if I'd known how dramatic the weight-loss could be...


No matter, our family is as we wish. But to anyone struggling with the heartbreak of "trying", if weight-loss has the potential to help with your journey, I now believe it may be a more powerful step than I'd known and I wish you every success.

Opening Up

As I attend meetings I hear a lot about how to handle situations when we don't want to "let on" that we are "on plan", on WW. I get this, it's private, no one else's business.


But... I realise now that I've been conducting a bit of an experiment: I have been confessing, all over the place! And so far it's been a really positive experience:


- A shop keeper today spoke to me about the benefits she knows of WW over other plans.


- A fellow mom fessed-up that she's doing it too but has felt too self-conscious to go to a meeting. We shared some tips, had a laugh about the difficulties, and now she may come along to a meeting.


- Telling makes me feel a bit "accountable" to my own enthusiasm, gotta stick to it now that it's "out there".


- People at work are so very supportive and encouraging and you'd never guess how many are doing it too! Once you mention it it's like a chain reaction: "me too", "so is so-and-so", "I was on and loved it", "have you tried such-and-such recipe"!


I just had to share here that I am LOVING the effect sharing is having on my plan!

Fat-Lady Clothes

I have had the extreme pleasure to take a bunch of clothes out of my closet because they are now too big! (little dance of joy %%%)


These shall henceforth be known as my 'fat-lady clothes' and I don't want to see or need them again.


BUT, I can't bring myself to donate them. What's holding me back? Some of them were the best of a bad bunch bought when I was too big to have much choice in stores so is it that I want to save myself that hunt in future? If that's the case, why am I expecting to be that big again?


Should I not be setting out on the journey as a permanent change? By having doubts that it will last, am I setting myself up for future failure?


At what point will the jogging, veggie-snacking 'me' become my default?

Let Me Out of Here!

Skinny-me says to fat-lady-me: "Let me out of here!" And for the first time in my life, we may be on our way to letting skinny-me reign... looking forward to meeting her! (no, I'm not delusional, I am just convinced that deep inside there is a skinny, fit, willful woman who can get slim and stay that way! I just have to find her...)