Tuesday 18 September 2012

Some days are harder than others...

I am fighting some old demons this week, and for the last few weeks, in fact.

I find myself confronted with Stress, Exhaustion, Frustration, Anxiety.  All old acquaintances, we've met before, we've battled before, and I have not always been the victor.

And alas, this past while I have indeed often been the loser.  I have caught myself comfort eating in response to their arrival, eating the quick-easy-bad-choice option out of a false sense of urgency.  In fact, I think I am jumping into some of these traps with my eyes open in some sort of self-defeating, 'damn you', misguided declaration of wilfulness.

But I stand here now certain that I am stronger and know better and will stop these behaviours:
  • I know I will fight harder and stronger by fueling my body on nutritious food.  
  • I know that I will feel better about myself for staying in control of what goes into my body.  
  • I know perfectly well that a little extra preparation (in chopping / cooking time as well as packing snacks when venturing out) is invaluable in this war.

I will stay on track.

I will be strong.


I will lose the pounds that have crept on in recent weeks and hold onto this wonderful, vibrant, happy, energetic, fast, strong version of me.  For I love her and want to keep her.


Saturday 8 September 2012

The Opposite of a Vicious Cycle?

I was really complimented the other day when asked to speak at a friend's weight loss meeting to talk of my success and provide some inspiration.  It went really well, I felt like I touched a few people and hopefully may have re-started or encouraged some enthusiasm.

One thing that came to me as I planned my talk this idea that during my journey I became part of the opposite of a "vicious cycle" but rather a "really good cycle": as I started to see the weight loss my enthusiasm increased and fitness became easier and that made the weight come off easier which again increased my enthusiasm and made activity more enjoyable and on and on and on...

Apparently there is an economic term, "virtuous  cycle", that covers this type of positive feedback loop.  But that word, "virtuous", is too loaded for me.  I think I prefer "victorious  cycle".  I was victorious.  I celebrated every small victory and that propelled me to achieve the next.

Having started the cycle I was motivated and encouraged and empowered to become the new me.

Victorious.

Quote to Live By... #13

Today I will do what others won't so tomorrow I can do what others can't - attributed to Jerry Rice

Quote to Live By... # 12

All we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about. - Charles Kingley (brainyquote.com)

Thursday 6 September 2012

Embrace Change

In the past year - perhaps it should be dubbed the "Year of Great Change" - I discovered a lot about myself.    I found strength I didn't know I had both physical and emotional.  I discovered determination and weakness.  My body changed so dramatically that it was like discovering a whole new me had been hiding all that time.

One surprising thing I learned was how very habitual I am.  I thought I was pretty creative, a risk-taker, no moss grows, all that.  I create a very dynamic environment for myself and drag my family - hopefully willingly and excitedly - along with me.  We move often (not necessarily remaining on the same continent!), I shift focus on hobbies and passions, I love to learn new things.  All of these features have often been examined in my life and my ability to 'stick to things' has been brought under scrutiny many times.

So, to realise how 'stuck in the mud' I really was came as a shock.  All the habits are not negative, I do not suggest I give them all up, some are truly beneficial to my health and well-being.  The distinction between my old habits and my new ones is that now I try to make a conscious choice whether or not to keep a habit.  For instance, I pretty typically eat the same breakfast everyday and have done since pretty much the start of my transformation.  I am grumpy if I don't have it (bran flakes and banana, in case you are interested).  So, that's a good one: good for my health, forms a good part of my daily food intake, etc etc.  I have a routine for running each week, another positive.

So, where are the negative ones?  I quit smoking years ago, hardly drink: as Adam Ant would ask, "what do ya do?"

Sure, once I got the eating in check and started the weight loss, I didn't have any awful habits left to break except this: my unwillingness to simply try new things.  This was the big surprise because I try new things all the time, or so I thought.  But this past year I've been so much more willing.  It can be big things like doing the Grind for the first time - I'd never had even considered such a think!  And running itself - that was a massive shift for me.  But it's also little things like re-arranging things in my kitchen to make healthy eating more accessible.  Buying new ingredients to try new recipes (I never would have expected to get so excited about squash, beets, or cabbage!)

One big food change was my new open attitude to making something I might not like.  I think I used to have a fear of missing a meal. I would never want to make something that might fail and therefore stuck to my limited list of not-so-healthy meals because I knew I liked them.  But now I know how much I was missing out!  I now stock my fridge with tons of vegetables and will experiment and have fun with my cooking and you know what?  It ain't all bad!  And quite often it turns out pretty wonderfully!

I have been listening to a great book while I run that has really encouraged my new enjoyment in the kitchen: The Kitchen Counter Cooking School by Kathleen Flinn.  I cannot recommend this book enough to anyone who needs some confidence and creativity in the kitchen.

Anyway, I now buy food items I wouldn't have tried before, I try new recipes all the time - so what if we end up with scrambled eggs sometimes after a failed recipe attempt?!  For the most part, we discover we like all sorts of things we hadn't tried before and have found some wonderful uses for leftovers (left-over roast beef made a great wrap, for example).

Anyway, I am embracing the exhilaration of curiosity and discovery and believe that this enjoyment is part of my success this year as it encourages me to keep being this new happy person!