Well, the big day came: I hit my WW goal! When I finally reached & dipped below the coveted 164lb mark, I had lost a total of 52.3lbs. Wow. (I say "wow" a lot now, there seem to be very few expressions to choose from that really hit the mark. "Wow" works.)
At the Weight Watchers meeting they asked me to talk a bit about hitting this huge milestone and I was really rather ineloquent, a lot of blabbering. But on reflection, it is very hard to pinpoint any specific changes that "made all the difference" and it is even harder to be precise about what has changed.
I do not think it is an overstatement to say the whole journey has been "revolutionary". My new found self is so profoundly different on so many levels. I have this new physical self to dress and touch and navigate through small spaces (catches me by surprise how easy it is to navigate now!). I also have this self-image that has yet to catch up with the changes. I still picture myself bigger than I now am. It is a very vague sense, it's not like I was really aware of how big I was in that self-image either. All I know is that I do not yet envision THIS self without a mirror to remind me.
I am consistently surprised at the clothing that now fits. I hold something up and just assume it won't fit because, well, just look how small it is. Then I slip it on and it fits. Huh! My mental concept of how wide I am is clearly behind the times.
As I mentioned earlier, there is the navigation issue. I turn to <i>squeeze</i> through an opening and find there was no need to squeeze!
I am also aware that people must see me differently than I expect them to see me. I still assume people are observing an obese, or at least very overweight, woman. I don't know that they are reacting to me any differently but it is a different experience for me. Perhaps it is a confidence, or at least lack of self-consciousness now that I can shed the 'they are staring at the fat woman' feeling. Not that I was aware of feeling that way but I now realise I must have been because I feel differently now.
Anyway, goal reached. Success. Now what?
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